by Sarah Stultz
Do you hear me?
I'm chuckling, sighing, and grimacing just a bit to myself as I write this. My son, the one who is almost the very spitting image of his father, said to me the other day, “Mom, the soccer team you signed me up for … they don't play against professionals right? I mean, there are other kids just like me who have never played before? Do you think the coach will be patient with me? Do you think I will be good at it? Do you think after two weeks, I'll know what I'm doing?”
He is a worrier with a capital W.
I looked at my son, the one who is almost the very spitting image of his father, and said, “Caleb, you are going to be fine. There are other kids who will be learning. You are great at running. I think you will enjoy it.”
To which he replied, “Okay. I'm not at 100% believing you, yet, but I think I'm getting closer.”
Yikes. There it is: my son, the one that is almost the very spitting image of his father. “I'm not at 100% believing you, yet, but I think I'm getting closer” - the believing part - well, that is where he is almost the very spitting image of me.
At Pilgrimage, Stephanie challenged us to listen and receive words of true affirmation spoken over our lives, that affirmation is something that originated with God and is nothing new to Him. I quickly nodded my agreement. ”See, Lord, we've come so far,” I thought to myself. After Pilgrimage was over, a dear brother in Christ approached me. “Sarah, you did a really nice job. You have a natural way of putting people at ease.” I just smiled and nodded to be polite, but the doubts were still loudly swirling through my thoughts. But he wasn't finished. “But I worry you are not hearing me. You really are doing a great job.”
There it was. A gentle admonishment, spoken in love. Truth. Yes, he was right. I wasn't really hearing it, but thanks to his gentle prompting, I started to then. Caleb's confession that he wasn't at 100%, but he was getting closer, was the last thing on Tuesday that helped to cement that truth to me. Maybe you are there in the not-quite-100% place yourself. May I gently encourage you to believe what God says instead of what your doubts say? To look for His “God-winks” or sometimes His voice spoken through others? May we always be quick to believe God's truth over the enemy's lies!
“It's okay, Caleb. God will help you get there, but you have to hear His truth and accept it first. I'm learning how to do that, too.” And if he does that, that's an image of his mother I will be proud to share.
Love to you!
Sarah